Song of the day

The Sound of Silence

As sung by Simon and Garfunkel

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Howard finally called today. I think he's been sulking. He was a little belligerent and said a few things I think that he will wind up regretting. Thankfully, I really don't think that they were aimed at me. It's called self-preservation.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a bubble. I am at peace most of the time. An odd feeling really when I've always had chaos around me. So, when something good comes along I have a hard time believing it is for real. Case in point, my new friend Howard. I like him, feel an attraction toward him, and yet I keep seeing all these red flags. Then I step back from it and I see that he's just as out of synch as I am. He's not really sending up red flags, he's just got to talk whatever is bothering him out of his system. Hey, I do that. So why can't I move forward with this? Am I afraid? Well, yeah. It's been 12 years since I've been on a date. I've been divorced for 7 years and I was married for 5 years. I'm not so sure I know what you're supposed to do on a date.

I may have screwed up any chance of moving forward with him. I sincerely hope not but I've got a feeling it is over before it really began.

I just finished watching "Dangerous Minds" with Michelle Pfiffer. "Freedon Writers" has been on recently, too. I used to be that kind of teacher. I wanted to make a difference and maybe I did; at least, I'd like to think I did. I don't have it in me to teach any more. I don't have the fire. But if I did, I'd want to teach teen agers again. Those were some pretty cool years. I enjoyed coaching Special Olympics basketball. I enjoyed the mock trials and the field trips. I enjoyed seeing the light come on as we read poetry, books and plays.

At any rate, the reason I'm online tonight is that I remembered a line from a movie. I can't remember the movie nor what it was about but the line was, "love and light, baby, love and light." Yeah, I know it's vague. But that's how my thoughts are these days. I'm either half way there or not at all.

I've got a song that I'm trying to find the name for and the artist who sings it. It's from the first episode in the first season of Joan of Arcadia. The words are something like, "You don't need a reason to hang around, you don't need to be broken to break down, you don't need to be crazy to stand up and shout, you don't need to have all the answers to know what it's all about...." If anyone knows this song please let me know.

To Dream the Impossible Dream

From the Broadway Musical Man of La Mancha

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

I am so lost. I feel so disconnected.