One Night in Bangkok

From the musical Chess
Also sung by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Bangkok, Oriental city
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner
Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue
It's Iceland -- or the Philippines -- or Hastings -- or -- or this place!

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town --

Tea, girls, warm and sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --
I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours --

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me


I heard this song on the radio as I drove to pick up my brother in Lebanon. The DJ on WZYP dedicated it to his deceased friend. He says he does it every year on the anniversary of his death. I thought that was sweet. But it got me to thinking about other things.

I actually got to thinking about the game of chess and my old boyfriend Mohammed Itmaiza. But I also thought about how we mistake the words we hear to mean something totally different. I remember thinking that this song was about something other than the game of chess when it came out years ago. It also made me realize how much I've grown as a human being. I honestly don't care what others do in their personal life. They do their thing and I do my thing.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
From: Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll


I've talked to my brother a couple of times today. He did not get the letter in the mail from Cumberland University. I'm beginning to think they mailed it to my PO Box. He's still obsessing over this. I feel badly for him. I could tell him what I already know- that he's been turned down- but Peggy is still working on something for him. Besides it is better that it come from the college than from me. If I tell him, he will blame me. Oh, I want so badly to fix this for him but I can't- this is beyond my control.

Today for the first time in forty-four years of life, my brother told me that he loves me. Now that is a miracle!

Becky's husband, Mark, called today to see if he could be of service with my World War II project. I told him to come on down to the library on Saturday. We have plenty that he can help us with. We're running out of volunteers.

Phillip and Charlotte are going to help me that my torn up chest of drawers to the dump tomorrow. It's the last piece to the bedroom suit I purchased when I lived in Murfreesboro. The bed frame was given to a family in need and I gave away the dresser to Darcy's daughter. It's kind of ironic that all of my furniture is made up of odds and ends. But somehow it expresses my personality. I got the new shower curtains hung in the closet doorways. They look a whole lot better than the Indian print that I had hanging there. Besides the Indian print was a left over reminder of my marriage to Joey. I had decorated our bedroom in those colors.

I sold the wrecked truck today for $300! That's my rent money. It was sold and towed away within fifteen minutes. Two hours later another person called about it and I had to tell them that I had already sold it. God is really taking care of me.

I slept less today. Not sure why. Maybe I see more hope or maybe it was because I was in less pain. At any rate I feel pretty good.

Cumberland University rejected Barry's application. I called this morning because he seemed to be getting the run around. I didn't ask why they rejected him. I figure it had something to do with his transcript. But colleges have been known to accept autistic, schizophrenic and bi-polar people before so I can't understand why they'd turn him down.

I feel badly for him. This was the ace in the hole that I used to get him to Lebanon in the first place. He was doing so well. I'm not sure how this will affect him. There isn't anything I can do. I am sitting here minus a job and straddling the fence. I couldn't take care of him or help him in any way. He needs to stay where he is. Peggy is going to see what she can do to help. She knows someone who works at the college.

I feel about the same as he does- rejected. I keep sending out my resume, filling out applications and going on interviews only to be turned down. I know there's a job out there for me somewhere. But I'm losing the faith. And I feel so alone.

I feel like a displaced person. I really have nowhere that I belong. I have no job and my family has moved away to good places. Is this what it feels like to be retired and have an empty nest? Feels weird.

I went swimming today. I had almost talked myself out of it because it seemed ridiculous to drive to another town just to partake of a heated swimming pool. But I'm glad I went. I felt better after the hour long swim.

Well, Mom finally went home. I went to get her on Wednesday before my interview in Columbia. She and I rode to Lebanon to celebrate Barry's birthday with him. It was a nice visit with Barry. He's changed for the better. He apparently needed a medication change the same as Mom did.

Mom stayed for five days. We had a good visit. She went into the helpful/controlling mother mode. I've tried to reassure her that everything is okay and will get better. No, I do not have a job. No, there isn't a prospect of one on the horizon. But I'm still plugging away. In the meantime, I do collect unemployment. In some ways I may be in better shape financially than when I did work. I have less to spend my money on.

Mom's worried about me being alone so much. I'm rarely alone. She keeps pointing out to me all the eligible widowers at church. Oh, brother. Big eye roll on that one. Not that I would turn down an invitation out- but really, I'm okay. She tells me that Joey broke my heart but there are still "nice" men out there. Maybe one of these would help me get past all the Joey stuff. I don't know. Once bitten twice shy. I really don't want to get into a relationship with someone who might treat me the way that Joey did. And since I can't be sure that these men are different, I'm afraid to risk it. Oh, I had thoughts of something with that guy from Loretto but he pretty much shot that down. So, I've just been focused on getting through one day at a time minus a love interest. It's less complicated that way.

Say

As sung by John Mayer

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say (8x)
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say (8x)
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to
Say what you need to

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
(Fade)
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Swim

As sung by Jack's Mannequin

You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth

The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open yeah
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
Swim

You gotta swim
For nights that won’t end
Swim for your families
Your lovers your sisters
And brothers and friends
Yeah, you gotta swim
For wars without cause
Swim for the lost politicians
Who don't see their greed is a flaw

The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open yeah
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
But I'm not giving in
Swim

You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's an ocean to drift in
Feel the tide shifting away from the spark
Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just follow the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think
The currents will drag us away from our love

Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim


I heard this song for the first time today and I liked it. It speaks volumes to me.

Hey, I'm supposed to be the Al-Anon speaker at the Childersburg group's anniversary on Nov. 7. Linda convinced the committee that since there is now an Al-Anon group meeting in the building that there should also be an Al-Anon speaker at the celebration. I wasn't first choice, Beau's daughter, Cissy, was because she began in Alateen. I'm not upset about being second choice. It's all in the name of love.

My World War I book is now about to be a reality. The Historical Society committee plans to print about 20 copies. Wow! At the onset it was only going to be 3 or 4 copies but there is a demand for the books.

I've got progress coming on the World War II book. People are hearing about it word of mouth and coming in to talk to me when I work at the library. The newspaper is supposed to be working on something about it so that we can do a survey on the veterans who are still living. George said he was going to light a fire under them but he might also take a part of the survey and put it in the next bulletin. We went down to look at the WWII artifacts that the museum has downstairs at the library and found tons of things that can be photographed to go in the book. I'm excited!

I've got a lead on a job in Madison, AL. Three Springs wants to do a phone interview with me if I can submit an application. I've tried a couple of times to get onto that website but it boots me out when I try to log onto the application. Oh, well. This may be God saying, "No." There is also a good chance that Bobby Busch will need a Life Skills teacher at College Hill. He told me to keep watching the postings.

I'm really not all that bummed out. I am, believe it or not, kind of glad I didn't go back to school this week with all the other teachers and assistants. It's a relief. So, maybe I need to be looking in another direction. I was mistaken for a caregiver this morning while I was out with the Basshams. A retired male nurse chatted me up while we were at the Good Will Store in Lawrenceburg. He mistook me to be their aide. It is something I'm custom made for but Buffalo River Services, Inc. were not taking applications, and, word on the street is that, Impact is about to totally upset their apple cart by moving all clients into Columbia. So, I'm not sure where else to look.