Sometimes I feel like I live in a bubble. I am at peace most of the time. An odd feeling really when I've always had chaos around me. So, when something good comes along I have a hard time believing it is for real. Case in point, my new friend Howard. I like him, feel an attraction toward him, and yet I keep seeing all these red flags. Then I step back from it and I see that he's just as out of synch as I am. He's not really sending up red flags, he's just got to talk whatever is bothering him out of his system. Hey, I do that. So why can't I move forward with this? Am I afraid? Well, yeah. It's been 12 years since I've been on a date. I've been divorced for 7 years and I was married for 5 years. I'm not so sure I know what you're supposed to do on a date.

I may have screwed up any chance of moving forward with him. I sincerely hope not but I've got a feeling it is over before it really began.