Alley came back yesterday. Wish she could tell me how she got out and where she's been. Cocoa came up dead in the parking lot by the most unusual circumstances. Wish Barry's cat could tell me what happened as he saw the whole thing.

You know, I believe our pets are loyal and that's great but it sure would be nice to be privy to what they know.


Della and the Dealer

As sung by Hoyt Axton

It was Della and a dealer and a dog named Jake,
And a cat named Kalamazoo,
Left the city in a pick-up truck.
Gonna make some dreams come true.
Yeah, they rolled out west where the wild sun sets,
And the coyote bays at the moon.
Della and a dealer and a dog named Jake,
And a cat named Kalamazoo.

If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word.

Down Tucson way there's a small cafe,
Where they play a little cowboy tune.
And the guitar picker was a friend of mine,
By the name of Randy Boone.

Yeah, Randy played her a sweet love song,
And Della got a fire in her eye.
The Dealer had a knife and the dog had a gun,
And the cat had a shot of rye.

If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word.

Yeah, the Dealer was a killer; he was evil and mean,
And he was jealous of the fire in her eyes.
He snorted his coke through a century note,
And he swore that Boone would die.

And the stage was set when the lights went out,
There was death in Tucson town.
Two shadows ran for the bar back door,
But one stayed on the ground.

If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word.

If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word.

Two shadows ran from the bar that night,
And a dog and a cat ran too.
And the tires got hot on the pickup truck,
As down the road they flew.

It was Della and her lover and a dog named Jake,
And a cat named Kalamazoo.
Left Tucson in a pickup truck.
Gonna make some dreams come true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell,
About Della and the Dealer and the dog as well.
But the cat was cool,
And he never said a mumblin' word.

Gratitude list for today:

AA, Al-Anon, Alley even though she was only with for a little while, air conditioning, apartment
Barry
Cocoa, Charlotte, cable, clean clothes
Diet Coke
Elyce
Faith, family, friends
God, grace
Hope
Ice, internet
Jerri- my new AA friend in Childersburg, Jimmy
Krystals
Linda
Mass, meditation, Mom, Marian
Note books
Okra
Prayer, Phillip even though he's beginning to get on my nerves
Question marks
Rosary,radio
Silence, serenity
Tomatoes, tape recorders, telephone
Understanding
Voice mail
Windows, Wal-Mart
Xena
Yvonne
Zinnias

I'm visiting with Linda until Tuesday. Since I got here yesterday I've put in application at the local school board and met her recovery community. I got my hair cut today, too.

I don't know. I'm mixed up about what tomorrow holds. No job. Not sure what will come later. Have to have hope.

This is the song that came to mind during the Al-Anon meeting tonight. We read in the new book, Discovering Choices. There was a paragraph about breathing in and out and the song just came to me. I love the chorus. It really sounds like a 12 Step program.


Breathe In, Breathe Out

As sung by Chris Cagle

Lately I've been runnin'
Into our old friends
And somewhere in the small talk
Someone always asks where you've been
So I tell them what you told me
And they can't believe we're through
They ask me what I'm doin' now
And in case you're wonderin' too

I breathe in I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out

I've got every reason
To find someone new
Cause you swore up and down to me
That I've seen the last of you
But the way that you loved me
Girl, left me hopin' and holdin' on
So until this world stops turning round
And my heart believes you're gone

I breathe in I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out

We were meant to be
Girl, there's no doubt
And if it takes the rest of my life
For you to figure it out

We didn't sleep well last night. I was worried about Alley and Mom thought someone was trying to break in. It was a rough night.

Alley is missing. The last time one of my cats came up missing my ex was in the picture. I always suspected that he took my cat. He left his cat, Cocoa, and took my cat, Silver. I hate to think that's he's figured out where I am and again has left Cocoa and taken my cat. I don't know what else to think. I can't find her. It's like losing a child I think. I don't know what else to do but pray.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

As sung by Bonnie Tyler

(Turnaround)
Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming around
(Turnaround)
Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turnaround)
Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by
(Turnaround)
Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes
(Turnaround bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turnaround bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turnaround)
Every now and then I get a little
bit restless and i dream of something wild
(Turnaround)
Every now and then I get a little bit
helpless and im lying like a child in your arms
(Turnaround)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry
and I know I have to get out and cry
(turnaround)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
(repeat 2x)

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
Total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse of the heart


Wow! I heard this song on the radio today and so many memories came rushing back. Just now I was watching TV and it popped into my head again. For some reason this time I'm thinking of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, both of whom died today. Their memories will cast a shadow on us all for one reason or another.