If you have taken
a wrong path,
do not despair;
there is still time
to find a better one.

That is what my perpetual calendar says today. I know those are probably very wise words but I'm tired of having to back track or search for the path that is right for me. Who's to say that the one I'm on is wrong any way? Could it be that I have to be on this path because I'm more hard headed than others?

I pulled out the movie Hope Floats today. I don't know. For some reason I felt I needed to watch it. I guess I identify with the character of Sandra Bullock so much. I love the song that they lipsynch to when her daughter has been beaten up. For some reason it was not one I found for my rain project a few years back. When I look at the lyrics I think that it must have been written by an Al-Anon, some poor co-dependent person that wants desperately to get close to a loved one.

I CAN'T GET NEXT TO YOU
The Temptations
(Whitfield/Strong)

I can turn your gray sky blue
I could make it rain whenever I wanted to
I can build a castle from a single grain of sand
I can make a ship sail on dry land
But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue
'Cause I can't get next to you
Next to you, I just can't get next to you

I can fly like a bird in the sky
Hey, and I can buy anything that money can buy
I can turn a river into a raging fire
I could live forever if I so desired
Unimportant are all these things I can do
'Cause I can't get next to you
No matter what I do

I can turn back the hands of time
You'd better believe I can
I can make the seasons change
Just by a wave of my hand
I can change anything from old to new
The thing I want to do the most I'm unable to do
Unhappy am I with all the powers I possess
'Cause girl, you're the key to my happiness
And I, wo, I can't get next to you

(fade):
Girl, you're blowin' my mind 'cause I can't get (next to you)
Can't you see these tears I'm cryin'? I can't get (next to you)
Girl, it's you that I need; I gotta get (next to you)



I also like the lyrics that are done in the scene where Sandra Bullock is dancing with Harry Connick, Jr. I guess I kind of see that character in the same light that I saw the man from Medea's Family Reunion when he says, "Some men come to restore." Same theme as the first song.

To Make You Feel My Love

As sung by Garth Brooks
From the movie Hope Floats

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love


It seems very ironic and yet very appropriate that Joey called just as the movie was going off. God, how glad I was to hear his voice. I know it sounds funny but it made me feel so good to hear him on the other end of the line. Maybe we can go back to having a friendship. I told him of all the things that were going wrong in my life. I guess I just needed to talk to someone who knows who I really am and what I'm about. Or maybe I'm just very, very lonely. I am not going to go back into anything with him. I know what can happen if I do.

Joey sounded pretty good. He's been working a program. He got a sponsor on the outside but he's kind of out grown him. I told him to write Bobby B. and get Punk's address. We spoke about his legal issues. I learned some things that I didn't know. I was once again so, so grateful to hear that he is trying to get his life together. He comes up for parole next year. He doesn't think he will get it. I don't want to renew a marriage but what would it hurt to be on friendly terms?

He was shocked to hear what has been going on down here with me. It was humbling to hear him his take on what was happening. I never thought he had a high opinion of me. He was always putting me down. I guess that was the drugs and the alcohol talking. It goes to show you what a difference time makes. Suddenly I remembered what good friends we once were and I missed him.

I'm not sure this is such a good thing for me but I really did feel the need to talk to him.