Even though I can't solve your problems, I will be there as your sounding board whenever you need me.
--Sandra K. Lamberson

The prize we each have been given is our ability to offer full and interested attention to people seeking our counsel. And seldom does a day pass that we aren't given the opportunity to listen, to nurture, to offer hope where it's been dashed.

We are not separate, one from another. Interdependence is our blessing; however, we fail to recognize it at our crucial crossroads. Alone we ponder. Around us, others, too, are often suffering in silence. These Steps that guide our lives push us to break the silence. The secrets we keep, keep us from the health we deserve.

Our emotional well-being is enhanced each time we share ourselves - our stories or our attentive ears. We need to be a part of someone else's pain and growth in order to make use of the pain that we have grown beyond. Pain has its purpose in our lives. And in the lives of our friends, too. It's our connection to one another, the bridge that closes the gap.

We dread our pain. We hate the suffering our friends must withstand. But each of us gains when we accept these challenges as our invitations for growth and closeness to others.

Secrets keep us sick. I will listen and share and be well.
From the book: Each Day a New Beginning.

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These days I spend a lot of time listening to Elyce and talking to Linda. Both of them are in relationships with an active alcoholic or addict. Elyce is married to one and Linda is dating one. I feel their pain. I remember what it was like when I was married to Joey.

I'm not in a relationship with anyone active using these days. But I'm surrounded by a lot of dry drunks. At the beginning of the year I worried over Mac's sobriety. His behavior became very disturbing and he became almost as verbally abusive as my ex was toward me. His opinion of me mattered. He was my confidant.

Then other things began to happen in my life. There were a lot more dry drunks exercising some disturbing behavior. Suddenly I was surrounded by alcoholic behavior. I had problems of my own and I was trying to solve all of their problems. I got sick again. Or maybe it was that I never fully recovered from the insanity to begin with. I don't know.

Today I am on antidepressants, in therapy, and pursuing a spiritual track that is new and challenging to me. I still have to work on not taking what others say and do personally. It helps that I tell this to Elyce almost daily. I've become her broken record but maybe that is because I need to hear it daily myself.

There are lots of things that happen in life that I still don't understand. But these days I don't spend so much time worrying over them. I have a level of serenity that I am not willing to give up. I am becoming more and more happy with myself. It's a good thing because I spend a lot of time in my own company. But I find I am much happier doing so. That alcoholic behavior has not gone away.