As I embrace my courage
and release old doubts and fears,
I rediscover treasurers
I've kept hidden through the years.
I'm finding ways to follow
the desires within my heart,
Accepting the support I need
to make a brand-new start.
I give myself permission
to become more fully me,,
To reach, to stretch, to grow,
to have life...abundantly.

This is what my perpetual calendar said this morning. For some reason a quote from where I can't remember keeps springing to mind. Something about having life more abundantly. It's not from this calendar. It seems to me it comes from someone's stand up comedy act. But I can't remember whose. My Christian comedy tapes were last seen when I lived in Winchester. My godson, Ricky, borrowed them. There's no telling where they are now. I haven't had contact with any of those people in over 13 years.

As I drove past the college this afternoon a memory hit me. It was something I said while visiting Samantha at her dorm and it was the conversation that I had with Jeff Harwell afterward. Man, was I dumb! I'm so glad I'm not that person any more. All I can say is that I am my mother's daughter. I have a lot of her mannerisms. Isms. Yep, that's right. I have my mother's isms. But I don't blame her for what I was or what I became. I thank her for it. If not for her, I would not be who I am today. And I really love the me that I've become.

I went to the library today after I had read my second Frank Peretti book. It was as if I were being urged to go. It was no coincidence that Susan H. was in there at the same time that I was and looking at the same row of book shelves. I was as cordial as I could be under the circumstances and then I left. I really don't wish to engage in conversation with her. She isn't one of my favorite people at the moment. I always feel like less of a person in her presense. She has a knack for probing into my faith. I don't know why she's so hellbent on doing my inventory. I'm working on my spiritual side at my own pace and I'm growing. If I don't grow as she wants me to and in her time, that's not my fault.

You know it's rather liberating to let go of other people's opinions. I don't do it 100% yet but I'm getting there.

I've been praying for Q and his brother. I hope they both had a peaceful Thanksgiving holiday. I'm almost afraid to see what condition he comes to school in in the morning.

I also went online and found a potential OA sponsor. Hopefully she'll want to sponsor me. I await an answer.