Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself,
is not puffed up,
doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
Charity never faileth
I Corinthians 13:5-7

I awoke a few minutes ago and felt moved to revisit this chapter of the Bible. I was thinking about all the insanity that I've endured this year- on my part and on the part of others. I had fallen back into the well that I crawled out of. It began in October last year. Several things happened at the same time. I can't pin point one event as effecting me more than another. One thing I do know is that I ceased to feel loved. I looked at all three of my families and felt as if they were dying. I know now that it was me who was dying. I had begun to lose my identity again. Once again I was wearing a mask.

It was not until this summer when I felt that I was losing everything that the pieces began to fall into place. I had switched one mask for another. When everything appeared to be stripped from me, I began to live again. The chains seemed to be falling off of me.

In 12 hours from now I will be gathering with members of District 15 for an Al-Anon meeting. At that time we will each be asked to reflect back on this year and express gratitude. I don't know if I want to share what I'm grateful for with this particular gathering. My feelings are personal. I regained myself. I strengthened my faith. I learned what love is and is not. How do you express such things to people who have no idea the magnitude of my loss? It is impossible.

You are not going to believe what happened at the district meeting! Jerry H. wants me to be the next DR. I didn't complete GR. Why would I want to be DR?