I went to bed around 7:30 last night because I was worn out. I slept right through until I had to have my trip to the bathroom around 2:30. I went right back to sleep. I got up when the alarm rang at 5:00 with my chest hurting. It felt like someone had punched me. That should ahve been an omen for things to come.

When I went out to start my truck it was dead. I was determined to get to work because I had Q's meeting this morning. I set out on foot. The only neighbor stirring would have driven me to work but her husband had the car. I walked two blocks to Hwy 64 and crossed over. I got all the way through the cemetery, that's another three blocks. I was half way through the sixth block when a fellow teacher picked me up. I was rather proud of myself. I was within a block and a half of school before I began to run out of steam.

I've since called the dealer ship and Ruby to see if someone might jump start my truck. My ride home didn't have jumper cables and mine are no longer good. The receptionist at the dealership is asking around to see if they will come assist me and I await Ruby's call back. I don't want to ask any of my recovery buddies because they always seem to think I'm hitting on them or expect a huge payment. I am broke- no money to give anyone. And I have no interest in anyone at the Betterway House. No use calling family. They never have helped me in the past and they won't help me now. Those that would help me, can't.

At any rate I know that I can walk to work or bike. I'm just a little intimidated by my new bike. The brakes work a little too well and I really don't want to end up at school skinned up from falling off my new bike. I'd rather walk. But I also have two phone numbers to call in case I need a lift. It's funny the two numbers I have are from two people who have pretty well snubbed me. By the time the truck gets fixed I may wind up knowing a lot of my coworkers a little better.

We had Q's meeting today. I hate to say this but he is going to be a child that falls through the cracks. His aunt did not show. The DCS caseworker did but it does not look hopeful. The school board has been footing the bill for Q's psychiatric appointments but they aren't willing to do it any more. The psychiatrist has about washed her hands of it any way. I really had to hammer home the importance of Q keeping his meds. The psychiatrist refuses to write another prescription for him. He only has two weeks of meds left. After that he will be climbing the walls. The principal says her reaction will be to suspend him to protect the other children. She hopes that will prompt the aunt into action. My guess is that she will wind up taking him to the emergency one of these weekends when she can't control him and that will force the issue. In the meantime, hopefully someone will call Centerstone to set up an appointments. We're looking at a wait of about 30 days. Who knows what will happen in that length of time.

My heart goes out to him. We're all doing whatever we can to get him stablized. Carrie bought a gingerbread house kit. His face lit up when he saw it. None of us know how to do this but we're doing a little each day.

Before he left today Q asked me to marry him. I had to explain that he was too young for me. He's formed a weird bond with me there's no doubt.