All I Need is a Miracle

As sung by Mike and the Mechanics

I said, "Go if you wanna go,
Stay if you wanna stay."
I didn't care if you hung around me
I didn't care if you went away
And I know you were never right
I'll admit I was never wrong
I could never make up my mind
I made it up as I went along

And though I treated you like a child
I'm gonna miss you for the rest of my life

All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you

I never had any time
And I never had any call
But I went out of my way just to hurt you,
The one I shouldnt hurt at all
I thought I was being cool
Yeah, I thought I was being strong
But it's always the same old story
You never know what you've got til its gone

If I ever catch up with you
I'm gonna love you for the rest of your life

All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you

And if I ever catch up with you
I'm gonna love you for the rest of your life

All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a, all I need is a,
All I need is you (all I need is a miracle)

I awoke with this song going through my head. I don't think it is so much about a person but about the miracle. But, then, I could be fooling myself.

I sat down just now to check e-mail and found my perpetual calendar with the same message as the song. It says:

Miracles happen
continually
to those who have
the eyes to see.

Last night I chose not to attend my home group meeting. I didn't feel like participating in the Lois Hour. Instead I sat at home and found on the Health channel one of the very surgeries that I'm looking into, plus one of the surgeries that Linda is about to go through. I call that synchronicity but perhaps it is also the beginning of a miracle. Who knows?

Yesterday before mass Dennis made a point of stopping by the pew to talk to me. He validated my decision as to what I'm about to do in regards to my home group. He's right. Service work is politics and politics ruins my progam. Something else along the synchronicity lines happened at ma. The priest surprised me by talking about that poem that Dennis quoted to me so many months ago-The Hound of Heaven. Wow!

Dennis turned up at school today with one of the AA members that he's adopted. I guess she was there to see the principal about one of her children. Weird.

What a day! I had to spend most of it with Q. He came in out of his gourd. He would only sit with or calm down for me. He attacked the other two assistants as soon as I left the room. His behavior toward me was very unusual today. He was a little too touchy-feely. His irratic behavior alarmed the principal. She called in the SRO, the school attendance officer, the deputy and the DCS caseworker. There was some talk of taking him to the emergency room. We later discovered that no one had jurisdiction over him and could not take him any where. We also discovered that his mother had been arrested again and was in the Huntsville jail. He and his brothers have been staying with a local character, a transvestite named Stephanie. I have nothing against this man's chosen life style. I do however think he is the wrong choice for the boys to stay with given what Q said went on in that house over the weekend. He was forced to sleep in a trunk and was concerned about one of his brothers being hurt. It was a bizarre story. I hope to God none of it is true. As a former molestation victim, these kinds of stories bother me a lot. I actually had to call my sponsor and talk to her until I calmed down.

More and more I see the issues being presented to me as a means of rethinking what I believe vs. what I've been taught. Like this whole transvestite deal. Most men who cross dress are non-violent. The studies I've read corroborate that. So, there has to be something more to the story. Q keeps talking about two men named Preston and BJ. Neither of them are the transvestite. If he was abused in any way during the weekend it would have been by one of those men. In that case it's not about sexual orientation. It's about pedaphila. And according to what Q has told us, his mother is also guilty of that. Linda says document. It's been documented. It just makes me so sick.