"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out..."

My student with the multipersonalities is obsessed with worms. One of the assistants brought in gummy worms for him today. The song, the tune from the Alfred Hitchcock TV show, came to mind. I went on line to find it for him and sang it to him. Pretty cool stuff. The only other song I know with worms in it is "Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I'll go eat worms..." Not as cool.

We went trunk or treating this afternoon with the 3rd graders. The ice cream buckets that were given to me from church members made excellent trick or treat carriers because the lid on it kept things from falling out. This morning we made popcorn pumpkin balls. It's just marsh mallow cream, popcorn and orange jello mix with candy of choice to make the face. Quedarrius did not get to assist because he had a bad morning. Taylor helped make them. Thankfully, Q pulled himself together so that he could go trunk or treating with us.

Had a relatively good meeting last night. Mark showed up over in Lawrenceburg. The poor guy had been crying before he got there. Glad he showed up. Jane heard someone besides me tell her that our group has changed for the worse. Mark did speak last night. It took prompting but he did tell us a little about what was bothering him. But I think the best thing about last night's meeting was the porch meeting before with John 2 and the informal talking between Elaine S., Jane and I before the meeting.

There have been some good shares in the on-line group too. This week it's about open minds and willing hearts. Another good topic. Love that group!

Just Once

As sung by James Ingrum

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we got going

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...


Just now I was reflecting on this assignment that my therapist gave me a few weeks ago. I've completed a little bit of the worksheets that she gave me about assertiveness. I also remembered part of a conversation that I had last night before and after the meeting.

For some reason the words, "my best wasn't good enough" popped into my head. I guess it has more to do with what others have said and how they've behaved toward me rather than how I feel about myself. I was thinking about the armoir that I bought and put together by myself even though I didn't know what I was doing. I was trying to create closet space for my mother. It's been falling apart ever since. I know it's not the best armoir that she could have had but it was the best that I could do. It was the best that someone with no experience in carpentry could do. I think about my financial decisions over the last year. I've really botched things up. But I made the best decision that I could with the facts that I had. I could go on and on.

The point is that by accepting my limitations and admitting to them I am be assertive. It's saying, "Look, I know I'm not perfect but I gave it my best shot and I refuse to allow you to make me feel like a second class citizen." That's assertiveness. It's standing on my work and accepting my limitations as well as speaking up to get my needs met.

So, when I insert this song in my blog this evening it is not with romantic thoughts. It is with a sense of empowerment. (I'm not sure I spelled that correctly. But you know what I mean.)

Oh, I guess it could apply to relationships, too. But the way I see it relationships of any kind be they family, friends or lovers take both parties working together. I don't do the one sided thing any more. And that is assertiveness, too.