Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Who in my life will make me happy? Do I look to others when I'm feeling discouraged, sad, or lonely? Do I want someone to help me feel better?

I hold within myself the ability to be happy. I don't have to put expectations on others to make me feel loved or special. I don't have to look for a new relationship to be happy. I can find it within me. When I try to be happy because of other people, it means they have the power to take my happiness away. When I make myself happy, I'm the one in control of my emotions.

Today I will remember that I'm the one who's responsible for my happiness, not someone else. I don't have to look for someone else to fix my low self-esteem or attitude. Even though I can be upset by some people or feel happy when I'm with others, I'm the one who's creating these feelings because I have the ability to do so.

The only person who makes me feel a certain way is me.
From: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

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I guess I'm free advertising for Hazelden. I like the reading. It's similar to one found in Courage to Change, one of the Al-Anon CAL. It's something I need to remember.

It also reminds me of a conversation I had with Marian Saturday night. She was telling me something about two of her daughters and dating. She says she tells them "Don't get married unless you're absolutely sure. Ask yourself if you can live without them in your life." I think she's got it wrong. I think it's more like - I can live without the person but I don't want to. I'm not there yet.

This morning I attended an Al-Anon meeting in Lawrenceburg. Poor Joanne looked so happy to see me when I pulled up that I thought she'd bust a gut. She lit up when Marian came into the room. Even though there were only three of us I think it was a productive meeting. Afterward I went to lunch with Marian at Square 40. It was a nice morning.

When I returned to Pulaski I stopped by the library to do some further research into the tornadoes that have come through Giles County. I want to do an article about them for the Historical Society bulletin for next year's bicentennial. I spent a few hours there when in walked Paulette, a former Al-Anon member. I've been seeing her at church and I've not gone up and spoke to her. I don't think she remembers me from Al-Anon. At any rate when she came into the library today I discovered that we are kin. Surprise! Surprise! When we got to talking she reintroduced herself and said that she thought she knew me from somewhere. I just told her that she knew me from church. The other wasn't that important.

Since I've been home I've been working on an article but I've also been looking at my cat, Cocoa. I don't know how you can tell if an animal has manges. I'm not even sure that I'm spelling that correctly. All I know is that she has a lot of fur missing from her hind quarters. We may be paying the vet a visit soon.

Vicki called me today. I'm meeting the Three Muskateers for lunch on Wednesday. Afterward I may go swimming.

Oh, yeah, I've learned a lot about the paradox from his mother without fishing. And then today he e-mailed me. I think he likes the attention. Can't help but love him.