It was just Ruby and I at the meeting last night. I had called her after the district meeting to see if she was going to attend. We did not go through the standard meeting format but that was okay. Ruby took off her mask and kept it real. A lot of the time it's impossible to do that in our meeting room because things have a way of leaving the room. We had an enlightening conversation.

I'm sitting here wondering whether I want to write my ex back. I'm not angry at him any more. What would be the point? It wouldn't change anything. Besides, I have a feeling that Joey will be in my life always. We represent something to each other. For my part, I would rather leave all of that behind me and just move on. I believe I have. I don't think he has closure.

I had an odd dream last night about aliens. Not sure where it came from. I woke up to go to the bathroom about 2:30 with the strangest feeling that someone out there was thinking about me. Couldn't shake it for a little while but when I finally fell back to sleep I returned to my dream about aliens.

Somehow in the back of my mind today I heard the words, "I stand alone." It's very ironic that later it became the topic of discussion between Thelma and I. I went on-line to look for words of inspiration about the topic and found two poems.

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.

Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lighting in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
~ Edgar Allan Poe- 1829


Walking Alone

Response to "Alone"

I, too, was born of a world not the same,
Amongst white snow, a raindrops' shame.
In life's garden, a dormant seed.
A heart held of dissimiliar need.

I, too, was awed by lightning's flash,
Embering in mind even after the crash.
Followed closely by silent rain,
Blood-red, falling from the sky in vain.

The wind chimed and the earth shook from thunder,
And my mind was but befixed to wonder;
How could I stand amidst this storm,
Seek shelter not, yet still be warm?

But I, too, take my sorrow at a site-
Other souls would nonchalantly slight.
And I, too, have felt the need for love,
But could only love that need which I dreamt of.

And as I peered deep through the skies,
The clouds grew black to shut my eyes.
The demon that came in your view,
Now's taken from me what he took from you.

In the garden the seed has sprang,
A nameless child unearths the pang.
Felt for the flower, both eyes in close.
Took twenty thorns to touch the rose.

A wondering mind looked to the sky,
So beautiful it had to die.
Laid it to rest upon the stone,
And turned away a man full grown.

Singing the same song at a different tone;
In thoughts, destined to die, unknown.
Born unto a world not of our own,
We walked together, walking alone.
~ Michael R. Anderson- 1990