"Don't take things personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is them."

This is one of the Four Agreements. I recite this to myself every so often when I feel slighted or like I've just been zinged. I have to tell myself this a lot while I'm at school.

"How important is it?" This is the slogan I hate the most because it is the one that Jane robotically chanted at me when she was my sponsor. I used to wish she'd choke on those words. But today I ask myself the same thing when others around me are getting bent out of shape. I also hear my inner voice say, "Let go and let God." Sometimes I think it's the antidepressants doing their job and at other times I think it is that I now have a program of some sort. It could be a combination of things.

I'm practicing self-care a lot these days. That extends to finances as well as health. But it also has a lot of assertiveness to it, too. It's about knowing my limitations and when I've stretched myself to my limit.

The holidays can be a time where I overextend myself in finances and in health. Today I'm a little more focused and determined to live within my means. It will mean doing without some things and not getting some people presents. I gave out Christmas cards to everyone I could remember and still I ran out of cards at work. But I went easy on myself. Rather than kicking myself for the oversight I let myself off the hook. I'm new to this school. I still don't have names for each of the faces yet. How could I possibly remember everyone?

Linda had teased me about my getting a Christmas card from my ex. I had kind of dismissed that. I felt I'd get one from his father first because that's the way it's gone the last two years. But I was wrong. Joey sent me a card from the both of them. It included a rather sad letter about his dad's perdicament. I really feel that it was an attempt for him to evoke some sort of reaction in me. I used to rush right out and try to fix things. Today I know that I am under no obligation to do anything and that I am barely able to take care of self. Charity begins at home. Right now, charity begins with me. I'm trying to decide if I want to respond to the letter or not. I've got a Christmas card already addressed to him. I don't think I owe him a letter of any kind.

I was going to go to a basketball game tonight but I ran out of energy about noon today. I'm rather tired and still not 100%. About all I managed to do after school was deposit my check, get gas, buy groceries and something for supper. I will tackle everything else tomorrow and Monday. I've invited my family to go with me to the movies. We're going to go see August Rush at The Martin. I'd ask someone else but I get kind of tired of being turned down. So, I choose to ask those that I know want to be in my company- my mother and brother. We'll call it quality family time.