I'm grateful for Bobby B. and Barry H. I went to the clubhouse early last night and had a wonderful conversation with these two in recovery. I needed to hear some ESH from others who had or are going through similar things to me. They are real. In Al-Anon so often members of the group have their masks on because they still aren't willing to acknowledge that their situation is less than perfect. But like I told these two men I'm so focused on myself right now that I don't have time for this. I need real ESH, not some watered down version. That's why I'm glad I have others in recovery that I can talk to. I was hoping to get to talk to Joe, too, but I have the feeling that our mutual acquaintance has warned him against talking to me. It's okay. I figure if it's in God's plan for me to know any of the people who darken the door of a recovery house, I will. I don't have to go looking for it any more, it will just happen. It just kind of bums me out to think that no matter what I do, what changes I make in myself, I will still have the things I've done and said held against me. What happened to forgive and forget?

Gotta go. Xena's making an appearance in my living room.