Maybe no one
promised you a rose garden,
but that doesn't mean
you should stand by and let
the weeds take over.

That's what my perpetual calendar says this morning. I guess I could translate that into, "Life's not fair, get over it!" or a flower by any name would be just as sweet.

Last night Elyce asked me when school started back. When I told her we were already in session she congratulated me on having made it through the summer. I hadn't really looked at it like that. But she's right. I did make it through by the grace of God. I went to bed right after our phone conversation. I was in bed by 8:30. There just didn't seem to be any reason to remain up. I miss having people to talk to. No one calls unless they want to vent or they need something. I'd love to have a conversation with someone just to pass the time of day. But more than anything I'd like to have a conversation that I didn't have to initiate. I get tired of being the one to pick up the phone and call every time.

This morning I'm nursing some pretty sore muscles. My shoulders and back ache but it's not from lifting the little wheelchair bound girl. It's from having to wrestle with an out of control pre-teen girl with Down's Syndrome. It happens every day at the same time. She puts on a show for those picking up children in the afternoon. Yesterday it seemed to begin earlier.

Well, I learned that the replacement assistant is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. The substitute nurse stays on the telphone most of the day and she is about as helpful as a squirrel. This is making for an interesting life experience.

I was asked by the new therapist yesterday if I was a leader. I had never thought of myself as one. I'm generally content to be the hard working background person. Suddenly, once again I'm thrust into the lime light and I'm scared. The Albert Camus quote popped into my head and it seems to relate to how I feel.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend"

I don't want to have to lead anyone, especially the support staff in my classroom. I want them to understand what I'm trying to do and jump in. I guess I'm wishing that Vicki was here. But this may be an opportunity for me to work on my communication skills. Apparently they suck.

Drew names for the secret pal thing today. I drew a teacher that shares my same birthday. That seemed like synchronicity to me. We'll see what happens.

I have a secret admirer. The person left something in my mail box yesterday. Not sure who it is. Could just be someone on the Sunshine committee. But I think it might be Sam.