Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It doesn't happen all at once.... You become. It takes a long time.
--Margery Williams

Our spiritual awakening is partly a process of becoming real. We're moving from the external controls of image and others' opinions to the internal controls of honesty, listening to our inner voice, and having true relationships. We are shedding the games that maintained our old style of life - "macho" or "hero" or "poor me."

In place of the old phony surface, we are developing a real relationship with ourselves. We are becoming more aware - of emotions, of need for rest, of violations of our values. Sometimes change comes in a flash of insight or a moment of sudden, piercing awareness, but more often it comes a little bit at a time. As we work the Steps, as we are true to our inner voice, as we keep returning to conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we get closer to our friends, we become more real to ourselves.

As I grow, I see that I was always real. I was just looking at the outside.
From: Touchstones by Anonymous


This goes so well with the reading from the Advent meditation for today:

The Patient Live and Wait in the Present

Simeon... was righteous and devout, looking forward to the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit rested on him.
Luke 2:25

A waiting person is a patient person. The word "patient" implies the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us. Patient living means to live actively in the present and wait there. Impatient people expect the real thing to happen somewhere else, and therefore they want to get away from the present situation and go elsewhere. For them, the moment is empty. But patient people dare to stay where they are, waiting.

O God, help us to be patient, knowing that all good gifts come from you in your own time.


I must have looked very sad or, perhaps, in pain as I really did feel because Deacon Mike pulled me aside as I was leaving and asked me if everything was okay. He said that if I needed anything or to just talk to stop by. I may wind up in his office before the week is up.

I'm trying to be patient and allow things to move in God's time but I feel like I need to jump in and hurry them along for Mom and Barry. I'm physically limited thesed days. I'm in a lot of pain. My left hip and leg are in excrutiating pain. It hurts to sit, stand, walk or lie down. In short, I hurt all the time. I'm also not doing so well with my breathing these days. The breathing machine is on the standby should I need a treatment. I'm trying to make it without that. Depression keeps creeping back in. I'm battling it though.

I called Marian and told her that I was not going to be at the meeting tonight. I visited with Mom and came home. I'm probably going to turn in soon. I just took some Tylenol PM to help me get through the night. Don't want to become to dependent on that either.

Marian and I are going to dinner and to see The Nutcracker ballet on Friday. I told you that the nutcracker seems to be the theme for this holiday or is it mixed nuts?