I am being stalked or harrassed by the computer program that is giving me fits. Three times a day, every day, I get a message telling me that paperwork is out of compliance. I've done everything I know to fix it and still I can't print. I've begun to think that it's something on the other end. The problem with that is that the county does not get paid for each child that is out of compliance.

Linda is sending me money for gas to get me down to Sylacagua this weekend. She wants a cheering section for her as she takes part in the Relay for Life. She and Anthony are no longer together. Deana isn't speaking to her. All that is left is me. This is a good time for me to go. The walls are starting to close in on me.

I used to a have a few recovery buddies that took the place of my lost friends. Mac and I went to the movies, grabbed a bite to eat, hung out or spent hours on the telephone. Elaine K. and Elaine S. used to do things with me, too, as did Ann. Since I can no longer take the drama of their lives, I don't have anyone to do those things with any more. I miss it. I was hoping that Darcy from church, or Carrie one of the subs or even Sam would be replacements but no such luck.

I don't want to get my hopes up about the money I'm supposed to get from the tax thing Bush set up because my refund went back to the IRS for what I owed on last year. But I sure could use the money right about now. I'm flat broke. My paycheck doesn't stretch like it should. It would help if they'd pay us twice a month. I could spread my bills out. But the problem for the last few months had been the electric bill. I had a leak that drove the water portion of that bill way up. Last month's bill was $420.

It sucks to be responsible.

Here I am more than 12 hours later. I nagged the folks at central office until they sent someone over to look at what was going on with my program. We discovered that it was the fault on the part of the school psychologist; although, I also needed to change some dates. When the school psychologist found out about it she sent me an odd response. I'm not sure I believe her apology but it's irrelevant. She had to fix her part.

I told some of this to the paradox and he thought it was funny (it is sort of). But when I'm chasing my tail trying to figure out something for a couple of hours my sense of humor goes south.

I'm gonna tell you something. The aides in my room think I'm stupid. It's like talking to a teenager. I get the eye rolls and everything. Who cares? They haven't lived my life. I definitely don't want theirs.