I feel like I've stepped through the looking glass again. All I can say is that things are getting weird.

Yesterday was the district meeting. I aired my feelings while I was there. Linda will tell you that when I don't feel good I cut straight to the point and say what's on my mind. I did yesterday. Al-Anon will fold if we do not go back to basics.

We're too bogged down in hidden agendas on the state level. I, for one, do not care to go to another state assembly. Marian asked me about it and I just told her that if I went I would be visiting with my friend Judy. I have been invited to stay with her and Tomasina any time I come to Murfreesboro. (I owe Judy a visit. I'd like to see Sharon and Nathan. I haven't seen them in 15 years. They're grown now. Nathan does not approve of his mother's life style and is a very infrequent visitor but Sharon is in and out all the time.)

I spoke of the lack of anonymity at the local level and how that appears to the newcomer coming in. One newcomer can not be in the same building as her alcoholic it would not bode well for her to attend meetings at the Betterway House where he will attend AA meetings. Where is she to go? And what kind of message are we sending about the socialization done there? It appears that no one has a life. They spend most of their day hanging out at the Betterway House. They show up to play cards rather than attend a meeting. It's just plain wrong.

I just told them straight out that I had to totally remove myself from the alcoholic behavior to get better. I had relapsed in that environment. My old character defects were activated. I donned my super woman cape again and just plowed through. I had no idea what I was doing but I was determined to keep the meeting going. I was the only member doing service work and I burned out.

Yes, I talk to AA members from the Betterway House. Two members attend church where I do. We just don't talk about alcoholic topics. Yes, I talk to AA members from other groups and we talk recovery. It's not about controlling or manipulation. It's a healthy discussion. And yes, we have disagreements but it makes our friendship stronger. Neither of us is trying to get one over on the other.

Yesterday I told the paradox that I was glad that he was who he was and he replied by saying, "ditto." To me that is about acceptance and love at its purest level.

Fast forward to today.

I had to call DCS on Kristopher's parents. The principal made the call last week. It was evident that a caseworker had talked to them by the way they behaved in their IEP meeting. You'd think it would have wised them up. But Kristopher came to school with a black eye and bruises on one of his arms. The kid's in a wheel chair and has limited range of motion for Pete's sake. I was not impressed with the caseworker.

Then Laura, the new speech teacher, made the comment at one point today that she thought I was going to get angry at her for not taking Daniel and Taylor at the right time. Geez! I just looked at her and shook my head. I told her that if she had been dealing with the younger version of me I probably would have taken her head off but I'm in recovery now. I don't get bent out of shape about things like that any more. She took them- they got speech time. Who cared when she did it as long as it got done? You know what I mean? It's the end of the year. Who's going to get bent out of shape? Certainly not be with all I've put up with this year.

Then I take Daniel to the cafeteria to get his lunch and I run into Sam. Now Sam is working up the nerve to find out more information about me each time I see him. I'm not interested in him in the slightest. He's not my type. I only view him as a potential friend. I kind of feel sorry for him really. But the dude asks me to marry him while I'm in the lunch line with Daniel. I just laughed. He quickly said something about being on medication and ignoring what he said. I told him that I had not taken him seriously. Who would? I mean really. I know too much about him to take anything he says in that way.

I'm grateful to have peace and quiet when I get home. I have two rag tag cats who haven't figured out the new litter box and that is about all the drama I see. Thank God.