Thanks to Tylenol PM I got a good night's sleep. It took a while for my left leg to stop hurting but I finally drifted off. I hate taking this because I worry about becoming addictive but it seems to be the lesser of evils. Someone asked why I don't go to the doctor and get something for pain. Duh! It would be more addictive than this.

I really would like to call in sick today because of the pain in my hip, leg and feet but I don't dare. I'd never get the sub to do my afternoon bus duty. I've already stuck Mrs. Burns with it more than once. She'd kill me. I hate bus duty! But I don't lord over the kids like the other teachers do. I figure they're about to go home and I can put up with anything. As long as they don't try to kill each other we're straight.

Had another shot in the arm yesterday. The PT came in asking my advice about a situation she has in Lawrence County. She's about to open a can of worms but it's for the benefit of the wheel chair bound children. I can't believe a special education supervisor put a restriction on PT due to spending. Cut corners somewhere else! I mean we tell these parents that their children have to come to school when a lot of them would be better off staying at home and then we don't have services or equipment for them. What's up with that?

I wish I had some skill with building things. I'd build the equipment that I need. We need equipment. But services from a certified physical therapist is another story. Even with equipment nothing can replace the therapy. I feel blessed to have a therapist that will work with the kids rather than spending her time talking to me about the kids, which I'm told is all that they did last year. I think that was because there was no place set aside in the room to have the therapy and a lack of holding the therapist accountable.

I don't know. I guess I just feel kind of put out with the whole thing. Working in the community where I'm originally from is an eye opener. That's all I can say.

As to the other things in my life, I keep looking to God for answers. I look for signs of hope. I keep thinking that if only I could be met half way or the other person would just come out and say what he feels... That may be asking too much. "If onlys" are not about reality. They are about expectations and blame. I can only continue to focus on my part in things. I can accept that the other person isn't ready to commit or is clueless as to what he really wants from me. Either way I refrain from doing his inventory.