I had a really weird dream last night. I was reaching out for help on something and the same person kept stepping forward to help me. It wasn't that I didn't want his help. In the back of my mind I kept telling myself that he'd bail on me if I let him. So, I kept reaching out to others.

When I think about it, this person has never bailed on me. He's just stopped short of letting me get close to him and because of that I doubt his sincerity. And yet he has been decent enough to acknowledge that we have a connection. He's admitted it to me and to others. That's far more than anyone else ever has done.

What I have to acknowledge to myself here is that I am afraid. If I were really honest I'd have to admit that I have been comparing him to my ex. But in truth he is so far from being anything like my ex that it isn't funny. My ex was Jekyl and Hyde. This person is far more steady. My ex could be mean and nasty. This person would have to work very hard to even be a tenth of that. My relationship with my ex was based on how much he needed me. It was draining me. This other person won't let me serve in that capacity. He has always redirected my focus.

I don't know. I guess I doubt the message that I keep getting because it isn't validated by this person. His actions validate it but his words contradict him. Or once again I could be the crazy one. I could be totally misinterpreting things. So, I guess it is better for me to walk away than to risk finding out. If only he'd just come out and tell me what he wants. It sure would help my state of confusion.

Or I could just be over analyzing a meaningless dream.

For some reason an old song popped in my head as I was coming home just now. I haven't heard it in ages. But maybe it has meaning to someone reading this.

Love is Like Oxygen

As sung by the Electric Light Orchestra

Love is Like Oxygen:
You get too much, you get too high,
Not enough and you're gonna die.
Love gets you high.

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is Like Oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.

Time on my side.
I got it all.
I heard that pride
Always comes before a fall.

There's a rumor goin' around the town.
That you don't want me around.
I can't shake off my city blues.
Everywhere I turn, I lose...

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is Like Oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is Like Oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.

Time is no healer.
If you're not there.
Holy fever.
Set words in the air.

Some things are better left unsaid.
I'm gonna spend my days in bed.
I walk the streets at night,
To be hidden by the city li-ight. City li-ight.

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is Like Oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is like oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.