I guess I’m feeling a little self-pity because my life appears to be in the toilet. I feel the same way I did when I walked into Al-Anon almost 5 years ago.

But as Linda pointed out God has been answering my prayers. I need to stop focusing on the negative things and start focusing on the positive.

I feel as if I’ve done the best that I can do and should stop being so hard on myself. This year is almost behind me and it has been a learning process.

I feel out of balance right now. I’m trying to identify what I’m feeling to regain composure. Not control- composure.

I need to keep my mind focused on the Four Agreements. Mainly, I need to remember that what others say and do is about them and has nothing to do with me. I need to stop reacting to people. Linda’s right. The assistants are retaliating because they did not like their evaluations.

It’s hard to do but I’ve got to stop focusing on what Kim and Jennifer are doing and focus on my own stuff. Maybe I should take the principal’s suggestion- just do the paperwork and let the assistants handle the kids.

I have been trying to make friends with my assistants. It can’t be done. They do not wish to be my friend. Linda is right. God is sending people my way that have nothing to do with my assistants. People are beginning to warm up to me.

I expected to find a professional atmosphere in this school system. It doesn’t exist. I have to adhere to standards but no one else does. It’s hard not to be resentful.

It’s true I had once again put myself in the victim role. It’s not just about school. I’ve got resentments regarding Al-Anon. I asked for help from different state officers and they sent me back to Jane, who hates me. She would rather go to the assistance of any other Al-Anon group but mine.

I will continue to pray for God to take these horrible feelings from me. They are interfering with my sanity and my serenity. I want to have a peaceful existence, not one based on anger and resentment.

It does bother me to listen as Kim and Jennifer talk about their lives. I don’t understand how people who seem to have such wonderful lives could be so critical.

I’ve got to quit comparing my insides to other people’s outsides. I am okay. I have problems but I’m a lot better off than I once was.

I need to remember that this too shall pass. Nothing lasts for ever including good times.


I’m working on something to find gratitude about.

Like I said, I’m working on it. I guess I could be grateful to work for a principal that believes in second chances because I have not been at my personal best this year.