I may be breaking copyright laws by posting readings from Hazelden especially since the internet is public domain. But I may also be giving the author free advertisment. Who knows?


A spiritual life is natural

Conscious Contact. Coming into what is clearly a spiritual program, we may have been fearful that our own unworthiness would hold us back. We may have believed that a spiritual life and a "conscious contact" with God are reserved for a few people with saintly qualities.

What we must know is that the spiritual life is every person's right. It includes the human qualities that have brought our greatest progress. "The spirit of the thing" is an ordinary phrase, but it expresses the presence of a Higher Power in our lives.

What's most useful to know is that we can contact our Higher Power at any time, in any place. This can be extremely important when we are in very bad situations. We always have a Higher Power to pull us through and to set things right in our lives. That's our birthright as human beings.

I'll turn to my Higher Power frequently throughout the day, if only for a few moments each time. This will keep me on the right path.
From: Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.


I never really thought of myself as a spiritual being until I came into Al-Anon. But when I look back, I'd have to say I've been one all my life. I had a prayer closet before I knew there was such a thing. I had conversations with God before I knew very much about Him. I described Him as love before even heard the scripture "God is Love." I think I've been moving toward a spiritual higher plain all of my life. I don't think I have a destination. I think it's about the journey. I just wish I had closer contact with people who were traveling the same path. It does get a little lonely when I travel alone.


I really miss Q. It's so peaceful and quiet in the classroom now. It sort of reminds me of how my life has gone. I've always experience crisis in one form or another. When I finally experienced serenity I didn't know what to do with it. I missed the drama. But after experiencing peace I had a hard time going back into the drama. I got sick again. So, I think Jennifer is right. We need to just relish the peacefulness. We really earned this time.

The portfolios will be finished by Friday. It's a push to get them done. Taylor's is done all except the signing. Kristopher and Samantha's are almost finished. Corey's is a mess. I've worked on these things for several hours today. I had to stop.

Samantha wasn't at school today. She had two seizures at the bus stop while she and her mother waited for her to be picked up. I pray she didn't have any more today. She will not be at school tomorrow. She has a doctor's appointment. These wheel chair bound kids are so fragile and I am so attached.

I went by the bank and pulled my statement. I discovered $450 missing over the last month and a half to a company known as "SSM Group, LLC". I looked them up on the internet and discovered that I'd been scammed. If it began when I think it did I've lost nearly $2000 over the last 6 months and this would explain why my checking account has stayed in the red. According to the advice from the website I found the only solution is to close my account and open an new one. Between now and the next pay day I could lose another $150. Hopefully that's not the case. I'm going to be in heavy prayer over this.

I will be going to the dealership on Wednesday to turn in the truck. I don't see the manager cutting me a deal again. Now that I've found out where my missing money has gone (I thought it was my insurance)I might be able to take a deal if he offered it to me whereas before today I had decided that I wouldn't. I'd love to see a miracle. Ultimately it will be God's will because I have put it squarely in His hands.

I'm not sure what's going on with the paradox. For some reason or another he's concerned about my mail having gone into a bulk file. He never checked that file - he deleted it without opening to see what was in there. I'm not sure why it's such a big deal. I'm used to him ignoring me. I figured he was either reading them and ignoring me or knowingly deleting them without having read them. I told it was probably because my new e-mail address wasn't in his address book. He confirmed that. He still had my old e-mail address in there. I've had my current e-mail address since August. Imagine how many messages he has missed! But truthfully I had been kind of quiet for a while with him because I wasn't sure he wanted to hear from me. I mean, why would he? I'm nobody to him.

My brother called here tonight with a request for information. That doesn't happen often. I steered him away from the direction he was going because what he wanted to do cost mucho bucks. He has very little money. I gave him a contact to call.

Diane, that crazy woman from my past job experience, called here today. She wanted advice on seeking a divorce. It seems she's pregnant and due next month (what!?) and wants to file for a divorce due to abandonment. I'm not sure she has a case with that. She needs to seek legal advice, not Yo's advice. What do I know? I paid the lawyer and he did the rest.

I just had an exchange with one of my on-line recovery buddies. She's doing the Tuesday Focus on CAL for me tomorrow. Jay did it last week. For some reason the phrase, "the darkest hour is just before dawn" popped into my head in reference to we were talking about. That lead me to thinking about an old Mamas and Papas song.

Dedicated to the One I Love

As sung by the Mamas and the Papas

While I'm far away from you, my baby
I know it's hard for you, my baby
Because it's hard for me, my baby
And the darkest hour is just before dawn

Each night before you go to bed, my baby
Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby
And tell all the stars above
This is dedicated to the one I love

(life can never be exactly like we want it to be)
I could be satisfied knowing you love me
(but there's one thing I want you to do especially for me)
And it's something that everybody needs

While I'm far away from you, my baby
Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby
Because it's hard for me, my baby
And the darkest hour is just before dawn

If there's one thing I want you to do
Especially for me
And it's something that everybody needs

Each night before you go to bed, my baby
Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby
And tell all the stars above
This is dedicated to the one I love

This is dedicated to the one I love
This is dedicated to the one I love
This is dedicated to the one I love
(this is dedicated)

Maybe that means I need prayer.