One of the Al-Anon members from my on-line group shared about choices. How ironic! Just yesterday I e-mailed Mac and got a few things off my chest. Maybe I should have said nothing and just walked away but sometimes I think that the alcoholic and addict needs to know what affect they have on others. At any rate I told him that I choose to walk away from the drama. It's important to my serenity and sanity that I steer clear from drama driven people for a while. I need time to rebuild my program a little stronger before I venture back out into the soap opera lives of those around me. Right now the focus is on me. I still have a few problems of my own that need to be addressed.
I also issued an invitation to someone to join the quiet celebration of New Year's Eve here. It's doubtful that he will take it but I have a feeling others will when it gets too loud down at the Betterway House. I just haven't told Linda that yet. But she will be up for it. She's up for anything.
posted by Onion at
5:19 AM
1 Comments:
About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell.
I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process].
I was released from hospital 16th September 2004, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins.
Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages.
God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17]. I was saved, I am saved, and I am being saved. Yes, but only God knows who they are.
I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE
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