You can't order courage out of a catalog.
You just have to fake it as you go along.
Nobody can tell the difference
between great courage and great acting,
and the results are exactly the same.

That is what my perpetual calendar says this morning. It's ironic that my calendar speaks of courage because just yesterday a thought popped into my head as I was driving down the road. "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers."

The topic for the on-line Al-Anon group is Let Go and Let God. Letting go takes courage. Letting God handle it without trying to help also takes courage. Surrender takes courage. I never really had thought about such things in those terms.

I've also been thinking about how certain men in my past did and said things but later lied about it. I've had people try to convince me that I am crazy or made such things up. That hurt. It bothers me that people do either of those things. Why say something or do something designed to make me feel or act a certain way and then back off as nothing ever happened? Why try to convince me that what I saw, heard and felt weren't real? What bothers me even more is that they never own up to having done such a thing. And most of these people are in recovery! I thought AA and Al-Anon were supposed to be honest programs. I'm learning that recovery people seldom apologize for the things they've said and done. They may change some behaviors but they don't say, "I'm sorry." And sometimes I need to hear that.