Well after all the tests on Monday- they took 7 vials of my blood- it seems that it is one of my medications that is causing the problems. I find that kind of hard to believe but I am relieved.

It's been nice to lay around in pajamas and sleep as late as I want with no particular place to go but I really need to start looking at job prospects- I need to step up my game. I will have a paycheck coming in June 15th for time I already put in and one on July 15th. After that nothing. I've got a job interview on Monday. I'm a little worried about the reference from Mrs. Swinford. She really wasn't keen on me toward the end of school.

I discovered this morning that I did not get the position that I interviewed for last week. I knew I hadn't. It just came as such a disappointment to receive it in the mail rather than get a phone call.


The Climb

As sung by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


I heard this song as I was driving into Columbia to go to the doctor. It spoke to me. It's what I'm going through right now.

A little while ago I decided to go through the boxes in one of the closets. There seems to be a need to downsize and throw away things that aren't needed. I found the will I wrote three years ago.

A lot has changed since then. Then, I had just returned from viewing Marie McGee's (I don't know her married name) body and saw myself in her. I was suicidal. I'm not any more. A lot of the people I named in my will are no longer my friends or acquaintances. I no longer work for Maury County and I have ceased to have a 401K with Lincoln Life. I cashed it in to help pay for transportation. Mom no longer lives in her own home, she's in assisted living and Barry is now in an independent living situation. My ex is no longer in prison.

Wow! It's amazing what has changed over the last three years. The most amazing thing to me is my relationship with my Higher Power. I actually converted to Catholicism last year at Easter to become better acquainted with God.

Even though I'm not in the same place I was three years ago, I think I'm going to rewrite my will just to be on the safe side.