From William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar.

The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest -
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men -

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.


As I listened to two AA members eulogize Lois in a private conversation before mass today, I could hear the opening lines of Marc Anthony's speech ringing in my ears. Lois was a human being prone to make mistakes just like all the rest of us and yet there they were practially putting her up for sainthood.

You're not supposed to speak ill of the dead but she was far from being a saint. She was a very unhappy woman looking for something to fill that God-shaped hole. She sought it through other people, places and things. It may have been what cost her her life.

I shared my feelings with Mike along with wonderment that he could not remember anyone's name but mine when mine is the hardest to remember. I've always been the invisible person, choosing it at times actually, and yet he remembers me. His response was that I was far from invisible that, in deed, I was practically made of neon. I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean nor how I'm supposed to take it. On the one hand I take it to mean that I somehow have a light that attracks people but on the other hand it almost sounds like he's drawn to me. Weird.

I was feeling kind of out of sorts today so I went to visit Mom earlier than usual. I'm kind of glad that I did. We went to the Good Will Store and I found a book that was mentioned in our parish bulletin. Mom and I milled through the store and then picked up a bite to eat. We took our hamburgers to Davy Crockett Park. We sat, ate and talked for a while. Next weekend Mom is going to spend the weekend with me. She wants to attend the parish fundraiser with me. I was a little taken back by Mom's interaction with me. But I'm very glad we're at this level now. It's been a rough road.

When I got home I received a call from Linda. She didn't seem upset with me for missing the convention in Birmingham. Afterward I thought about going to an Al-Anon meeting. I called my sponsor to see if she was going. When I found out she wasn't I stayed home. I'll see her tomorrow at the morning meeting since I'm off. We're going to lunch. It's my turn to treat.

Barry came home from church a little while ago. He is in a very strange mood. Not sure what's wrong.

I think I offended my prison sponsee. I'm not sure. I didn't set out to offend anyone. I was merely trying to express myself and show how far my thinking has come. But I can see where she might have misconstrued what I said. Or it could be that the letter took a few detours before it got to her. I had a little trouble with it at the post office.