This morning we had a wonderful lesson in the mass. Job made an appearance and I felt validated. I'd been praying and meditating about all that is going on in my life. Some might think that I was on my pity pot. But I really feel like I was following after Job. I was sitting in rags and ashes. Not literally but figuratively. Call it humility.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't have the good things that everyone else has and then I realize that I am comparing myself to others. Maybe I wasn't meant to have the families that others have or the marriages. Maybe my path is different. Sometimes I wonder why I have so much responsibility heaped on me. I keep hearing in my head, "That which does not kill you will make you stronger." I wonder just how strong I need to be.

I guess where I see myself as Job is when I try to figure out what I did wrong. I never want to curse God and die as Job's wife suggested. I remember something that the deacon said last year. Satan throws the most trials out at those of us who have the most potential for good. I keep hoping that the deacon is right.