Movin' On

As sung by Rascal Flatts

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days aren't gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on




When this song first came out it hit me like a ghost story. It's haunting. It's like being hit with a thought all at once and you say, "Oh, yeah." I got it and then I didn't.

It brought to mind the poem by Robert Frost- Death of a Hired Man. But it also reminded me of something else- "you can never go home again." At the time I didn't think about myself. I thought about my now ex-husband. I wanted him to hear the song very badly and suddenly think, "oh, yeah." I discovered that it doesn't work like that. I can't make anyone think or do anything. Heck, I'm so below the radar that my opinion really doesn't matter to anyone.

I heard the song again today and another thought it me. For me it's not about physically moving on. It's about spiritually, emotionally moving on. It's about leaving the old self behind, having forgiven myself for the things I held over my own head. I am my own worst enemy because I know the truth about myself and I know all of my secrets. No one can blackmail me as well as I can myself.

Last night I had an odd dream about being back in high school. Two people I graduated with were in my dream. I was not especially friendly with either of them although I thought one was nicer than the other. One the educational assistants at my new job was in the dream as were my mother and brother. Beyond that I don't remember the people. I just knew that I was trying to get home because I needed to change clothes. It was an odd dream.

At any rate things are going better in my life but they aren't perfect. Thankfully the peaceful, easy feeling is back though. For that I'm grateful.