Last year I mourned the loss of my family unit as I knew it. I could see the end so clearly and yet I was mourning them while they (Mom and Barry) still lived. I wasn't taking the time to enjoy what little time we had left together.

Truthfully I couldn't enjoy the time because I had gotten sick again. I had lost myself and I needed to isolate in order to lick my wounds. I walked through many valleys and met my Higher Power. I was no longer running from Him. I was running to Him.

As I await the assistive living situation to open up for Mom, I find myself playing the part of mother to my own parent. I've never given birth. Yet here I am with a child to care for. In many ways she has disrupted my life. In other ways she's brought clarity to it.

This year I went to the theater to see The Bucket List. I enjoyed the movie and it's theme yet I did not apply it to me. A few days ago I bought the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I haven't finished reading it and already I see the correlation to the movie and my own life situation. It's not about hurrying through life to get in as many experiences as you can. It's about deciding what's important and doing it.