Lesson 324:

"I merely follow, for I would not lead."

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PATHWAYS OF LIGHT
ACIM WORKBOOK LESSON
HEALING PERSPECTIVES
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Looking out through the body's eyes is like having blinders on because what we see through the body's eyes is the opposite of the truth. Because we are blind to the truth, we need a Guide Who is not deceived by what the body's eyes show us. We need the Holy Spirit's guidance to show us the difference between truth and illusion.

Because we have been so totally lost in the forest of our belief in separation, we cannot find our way out without help. The way to do this is to refrain from deciding what anything means on our own, and recognize that we have been blinded by our false beliefs.

Our thoughts of separation, which is what this world is based on, seem so real to us that we don't realize that we need to question these thoughts. These thoughts are false ideas and so the premise on which this world is based is totally false.

In truth, there never could be a world of separate bodies. The world is not real. Bodies are not real. Minds are not separate. We have been very mistaken in the story we have been telling ourselves. We have gotten so caught up in the story that we have learned to believe that it is true. And most of our thinking is based on the premise that it is true.

As we continue following this false premise, we just keep going deeper and deeper into the ego's mire of false perception, which only causes more guilt and fear. The only way out is to avoid making any decisions on our own.

We need to be willing to go to that place in our mind that has not joined with separation. We need to follow the lead of the Holy Spirit, hour by hour, day by day. In truth we are not a separate individual with a unique separate mind encased within a separate body. This is not true. There is only one true Mind and that is the Mind of Love. We have never changed from that Love. We remain as Love created us. We are an Idea in the Mind of Love.

As we open to the truth, we are gently led back to the totality of Love which has never changed. We are led back as we are willing to follow and not make decisions on our own. "I merely follow, for I would not lead."

You may have heard someone referred to as a "control freak" or as having control issues. The truth is that everyone in this world has control issues. This world is the effect of rejecting God's Will and wanting to be in control. It's like we are all teenagers trying to establish our independence from our Parent. The Course refers to this syndrome often. It is what it refers to when it talks about our attempt to self-create and when it talks about the "authority problem." The wish to be in control is the rejection of God's Will that we are one Mind, which is undivided and the same.

The cost of "being in control" is the perceived loss of our unity with our Creator. That loss of unity means that we have lost awareness of the strength and Love that is ours because of our unity with our Creator. The result is that though we seem to have established control, what we have control of is only an illusion. There is no substance to it.

We are in control of the images we make up in our mind. We can have those images act out our beliefs. They can seem to be in conflict or they can seem to be special partners, allies with which we feel safe in a dangerous world of images. Yet all these images we control have no substance, no meaning in truth, no reality. So we go through "life" playing with images, thinking that they are real, yet feeling empty, alone and lacking Love.

To remember the Love that we are and that is ours, there is only one thing to do. We must give up our attempt to control and accept that, in truth, God's Will is our will. We must be willing to follow the inner Guide in our minds Who remains our Link with our Source.

By relinquishing control and following that Guide, we awaken to the Love, strength, peace and joy of the Self That remains united with Its Source. We give up control of nothing and gain everything, all that is real. We return to Love. This is why it is important for me to remember, "I merely follow, for I would not lead."

I have to laugh because I'm looking at my perpetual calendar which says:

Hey! Who's in control here, anyway?

This is also reminiscent of what was written in the parish bulletin for this week. Like children we battle for independence from our parents, telling ourselves that we are able to do for ourselves. We rebel. We do the opposite of what we're told. We run the opposite direction. Sometimes we come back and are forced to admit that "Mom or Dad really did know best." I think our relationship with God is the same way.

A lot of people are under the misconception that they can control whom they love or are attracted to, they "will" it to be so. I don't think it works that way. Our heart is drawn to another because we recognize something in them that is similiar to ourselves. This is the brotherly love. Then we begin to see them as one we want to be with, this is companionship. Anything further is sexual. The point is that I don't think we control that. We can try but ultimately we come up empty handed because it wasn't meant to be. And if whom we chose was in God's Will it would be a permanent selection rather than a fly by night relationship.

I don't know the answer to anything these days. All I know is that I feel like I've fallen like Alice down the rabbit's hole into wonderland. I don't speak the language and I offend. I'm lonely and I seek company. I even voiced it in this morning's meeting. I hadn't meant to say anything about it but it came rushing out and before I could check myself there it was out on the table. My sponsor was really at a loss of words. She asked afterward if I would like to talk but I had to get back to Pulaski to meet my family. She accused me of pushing her away. I'm not pushing her away exactly. I just don't think she can help me with this particular problem.