Well, I'm taking these classes online and I've come to the realization that I do better when I'm in a class that has human contact. I like the back and forth of an actual conversation. I've also come to the realization that I'm not as smart as I'd like to be. At times I feel down right lost.

But I will be a very well read person when it is all over with. For my class in Enlightenment I've read Gibbons "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment," and Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil." I'm about to start on "The Count of Monte Cristo" and I'll have political writings of Thomas Paine to finish off that class. The teacher isn't very informative about what she wants. I'm a little confused about what she wants from our papers on each book and today she told me to stop being so anxious and enjoy the read. Yeah. The problem I have with that statement is that she has chosen books that I do not find enjoyable. But I will give her this- she is challenging me to think more outside the box than I ever have. I'm just not sure I will reach the level of enlightenment that she wants her students on. We started out with 5 in the class and we're now down to 3.

The other two classes I am taking are history courses. One is about learning to research. Heck, I kind of went into that one thinking I had it licked. Wrong! There are some papers due that make no sense to me. His idea of research is a little different from mine but I'm holding my own. I kind of like the class. It's the discussion boards that frustrate me. It's like the other students are all jocking to show who is the smartest. Me? I just scan the readings and summarize it in the only way I know how. Plain and simple.

The second history class is in historiography. Yeah, I know. I'd never heard of that either. It's actually the study of how history is written. There is a lot of reading in it, too. One of the points I've been a little confused about is the idea of the Christian historian. The Bible is actually viewed as a history book. While, I will agree that there is some historical data contained in the Bible, I view it more as a moral tool rather than a textbook. But all in all I'm doing pretty well in that class. But the proof will be in the pudding as they say. I've got a research paper to write and I'm struggling to come up with enough on the topic to fit the format he has set for us. Challenging. I love a good challenge but I'm a little weary from the effort. I still feel that I need the give and take of an actual conversation.

In the meantime, I'm also trying to finish up the WWII project I started. I'm in the home stretch but I keep losing data and pictures. Hopefully, I've got that licked now so that I can do the index.

On a personal note, I have a neighbor who is really pressing his way into my life and I don't like it one bit. I'm not attracted to him and I really feel it is inappropriate of him to try to pawn himself off on me. I've been as polite as I can be about trying to tell him that I'm not interested. I finally told him today that my interest lay elsewhere. But at this moment I'm happy and content because I don't feel the necessity to be in any kind of relationship. But when I am, I want the whole enchilada. I want the physical as well as the emotional. I want to feel wanted and loved. I've never had that before and I feel that I deserve it. Until then I will remain celebate and grateful that God loves me just as I am warts and all.