A line from an old John Wayne movie keeps going through my mind. I think it's from "Rio Bravo". I'm not sure if that's the name of the movie. I know that it stars John Wayne, Dean Martin, Walter Brenner, Ricky Nelson and Angie Dickinson. At any rate there's this scene where John Wayne tells the hotel manager that he holds him responsible for putting Angie Dickinson's character on the stage coach. The hotel manager says, "Responsible? Me? Yes, I am responsible." Later we learn that his wife misunderstands just what her husband is responsible for.

The last two weeks I've been hearing, "What are you going to do?", "Are you going to step up and take responsibility?" , "We can only advise you. The final decision is yours." So I am thinking "Responsible? Me? Yes, I am responsible."

The only thing is that I'm not sure what the right decision is for Mom and Barry. But I've been in prayer and I've asked others to pray. I've moved forward with Mom going into assistive living. This means that the house will be seized by the state. Barry will have to have some place to live. I would take him in with me but I think it is high time for Barry to have a little responsibility. He does not qualify for services from DMR. His IQ is higher than it should be for their services. I don't know what options my brother has left. I feel like I've explore the best ones for him. He either takes what is offered of falls through the cracks. Aunt Nelle and I are going to break the news to him over lunch Sunday after church. I've been dropping information a little at a time to him but I went ahead and told Mom everything yesterday during visitation.

At times I feel guilty about this family situation. How come I had to be born more "normal" than my brother? Why was it decided that I could manage this cross? It doesn't seem quite fair to either of us. I want to give my brother a little more freedom and independence to allow him to soar. Mom sheltered him too much. Barry's got a lot of potential. I would like to give him the opportunity to go, and be and do. He deserves that.